Read Aloud

Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended up in the hospital. His best friend Morris came to visit him.

Bernie struggles to tell Morris, "My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She's so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside."

"What does she read?" asks Morris.

"My life insurance policy."

Perfection

The preacher said, "There's no such thing as a perfect woman. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect woman, stand up."

Nobody stood up.

"Those who have ever known a perfect man, stand up."

One elderly gentleman stood up.

"Are you honestly saying you knew an absolutely perfect man?" he asked, somewhat amazed.

"Well now, I didn't know him personally," replied the little old man, "but I have heard a great deal about him. He was my wife's first husband."